As a nation, we’ll say anything to avoid confrontation.
In fact, a recent study found that Brits utter an average of 14 ‘polite-isms’ a day to swerve unnecessary tension.
Phrases such as ‘With all due respect’ and ‘I’ll bear it in mind’ are a regular feature of everyday conversation.
But should you be concerned when someone tells you ‘Not to worry’?
‘Polite-isms are a fascinating feature of communication, used extensively in the UK, and often reflecting our preference to be indirect to avoid confrontation,’ said Dr Ben Beaumont, Head of English Language Teacher Strategy & Publishing at Trinity College London.
‘But they’re actually not a new trend. We’ve been using them for thousands of years.’
Here, experts have debunked the true meanings of the most common polite-isms – with hilarious results.
Use the interactive below to see if you can correctly guess what each of them mean.
New data shows that one British stereotype does ring true – Britons really do hate confrontation. Pictured: In British sitcom Fawlty Towers, hotel owner Basil Fawlty (played by John Cleese) often says ‘I beg your pardon’ in response to something he doesn’t understand or finds offensive
The most common polite-ism wheeled out on a daily basis is ‘Oooh, could I just squeeze past you?’, which really means ‘Get out of my way’.
In second place comes ‘Sounds fun, I’ll let you know’ – in turn of ‘I’m not coming’.
Meanwhile, ‘I beg your pardon?’ is the third most common polite-ism, used instead of asking ‘What the hell did you just say?’
Other common turns of phrase include ‘As per my last email’ – which everyone knows really means ‘I told you this already’.
And telling someone ‘That’s one way of looking at it’ translates to ‘You’re wildly off the mark.’
One in two participants said they regularly use polite-isms in the office, while 43 per cent said they utilise them around friends.
Almost a third said they believe they are better than being rude or passive aggressive, while a quarter admit hearing or saying them makes them laugh.
Dr Beaumont said polite-isms can be important for people learning how to speak English – especially regarding how to navigate a range of situations.
Messaging someone ‘a gentle reminder’ really translates to ‘I cannot believe you haven’t done this’
However, our passion for politeness doesn’t extend to when we’re speaking a foreign language, as 45 per cent of people who can speak another language said they find it easier to say a straightforward ‘no’ when they’re not speaking in their mother tongue.
The poll also revealed that a quarter of people are more direct with their language online than they are in person.
However, a third said seeing their words written out has made them more careful about what they say.
A separate study, published last year, suggests that ‘please’ might not be an all-purpose marker of politeness.
Rather, it is a more focused, strategic tool to manage frictions or obstacles among family members, friends and coworkers.
The study, published in the journal Social Psychology Quarterly and written by scientists from UCLA, shows that people say ‘please’ much less often than expected – and mostly when they are expecting a ‘no’ response.
Whether passing the butter or driving someone to the airport, people say ‘please’ to each other to sweeten a request when they know the other is likely unwilling, either because they have resisted already or because they are busy doing something else.
The findings suggest there should be less effort put into teaching prescriptive, ‘one-word-fits-all’ principles, and more focus on how to be sensitive to the particulars of a situation.
‘Any generic rule—like saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’—doesn’t take into account the specific situation, and may not always indicate respect or politeness,’ said Andrew Chalfoun, a graduate student studying sociology and lead author of the study.
‘It may also not be very effective.’
Saying ‘please’ could even be harmful in a given situation.
‘In the wrong context, saying ‘please’ may run the risk of sounding pushy or dubious about another’s willingness to help,’ he added.
This article was originally published by a www.dailymail.co.uk . Read the Original article here. .